06 September 2011
Such a full summer it has been! Full of travel, visitors, and fun shaken up with some intense conflicting thoughts and feelings…
In July, I had a wind and rain filled trip to London for a weekend to see my friend from Madrid as well as my friend who lives in London. The weekend was half tourist, half party-your-ass-off and completely no sleep! It was a fantastically good time! When I got back from London, I met my friend Jenn that next morning at the Vienna International Airport. Having her come to visit me was special in many ways including because it was her first trip outside of the US and because it was very good for me to have a visitor who is as spontaneous and crazy as I am. During her time here, we took the train to Prague for a long weekend. Prague is an amazingly beautiful city with great options for tourists, delicious beer and the chance for entertainingly interesting learning experiences (e.g. you only talk to Nigerians if you want to buy drugs – ah! Who knew???).
A few days after Jenn left to head back to the US, I also left for the US. Almost 3 weeks in my home country for which I was very excited!! I continued to be very excited until a few days after I arrived back in the frustration of Washington DC. Then I was suddenly excited to get back to Austria! Do not get me wrong, it was really good to see my friends and reconnect on things that make cultural sense to me, but there is something about Vienna, Austria that suits me in a way Washington DC never did. I am comfortable in Vienna - very safe, not frustrated and just comfortable.
Upon my return to Austria in Mid-August, I found myself stuck in a tug-of-war internally. I was almost afraid of how I felt mainly because I felt so displaced. Here I was arriving back in a country that is not my home and yet no longer feeling like my home country is well suited to me. I felt like I belonged everywhere and nowhere and it was an overwhelmingly lonely feeling. Now that I have had a couple of weeks back here in good old Austria, these feelings have sorted themselves out. There is no more tug-of-war and I am content again with being an American living in Europe.
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| In front of Prague Castle |
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| In a London pub... |
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| One of my favorite parts of being in the US was waking up at my best friend's house in Tennessee :-) |
I have/had the same confusion. Being born in the UK, growing up in the US and now living in Austria, I've always had difficulty fitting in exactly with who I am. The way I have surpassed this is to not allow myself to be defined by my birthplace, passport and/or childhood town. I am a creation of nature and a citizen of Earth first and foremost. I do not let Nationalism get the better of me (except for Sunday when I eat meat, drink beer and watch NFL). You like or prefer living in Austria, as an American you don't have to feel guilty nor do you have to be proud of Austria or America or anywhere. Pride is when your kid gets an A+ in school or scores a goal, not for what border you happened to be born behind. It is really nice here without all the traffic, bustle and depression. Breath in that Alpine air and enjoy!
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